| Best. Day. EVER! |
[20 May 2009|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
I am going to make a video, but one of the highlights of the day? Touching something Helena Bonham Carter wore. <3 Oh yes. It's a BIG deal to me. I love life and my life is Harry Potter.
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| LA LA LA! |
[19 May 2009|01:09am] |
|
I think I'm done with this journal being just a journal. That's what my blogspot is for.
So how about some graphics?
Sounds good? Great.
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| What the fuck was bisexuality invented for anyway?! |
[31 Mar 2009|12:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Murmurs |
] |
Why do I get so freaking frustrated over it? Just a week(+) ago, I thought I was totally okay with everything involving my sexuality but I haven't been since I was sixteen! It's little things that set me off. My daily activities are really what confuses me. For example: If I'm listening to Our Song by Taylor Swift, I just imagine myself with this really cute boy, falling in a summer love and it makes me incredibly happy. Or if I'm watching The L Word. Rachel Shelley. ♥ Or just seeing Bette & Tina's fantastic, loving relationship, I imagine myself with somebody just as wonderful.
It's entirely frustrating because I like girls more than boys. Which makes what I thought would be my future, just strange. The most appropriate word for this entire situatin is: Blerg! Thank you Tina Fey. <3
Anyway. I guess it's so frustrating. I just really need to be okay with liking girls. Over three years and you'd think I'd be okay with it 24/7 but only half of the time I really am. Plus, the whole family thing.
Basically I'm just in a really lesbian mood. And tomorrow I may not be. Thus my thougt that bisexuality needs to die. One or the other. C'mon. *facepalm*
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| I think happiness is a choice... |
[11 Mar 2009|05:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Two Princes - Spin Doctors |
] |
This may be a little hard to believe for some, but I've realized that it's up to me whether I'm happy or not. When I'm sad about nothing in particular, I just have to think of things I'm looking forward too, things that make me smile and just keep those thoughts on their toes. By doing so, my thoughts of gloomy, grey winter's end become thoughts of listening to my summer mix playing on the stereo, containing songs like Malibu by Hole and a few Taylor swift songs, while me & my friends swim in the lake near sunset.
I know how cheesy and stupid this must sound, but it's very true. I've been through too much not to have tried this and I've been through too much for this not to have worked. I'm incredibly happy that it did though. It may not work all the time, but the times I need it most, it comes through for me.
It's really just being optimistic. Never assume the worst because then you will just end up viewing things negativly too many times to count. It just brings you down. Be thankful. That's another thing that really made me see things in a new light. Be thankful of your life and everybody in it. :)
Lemon out.
:p
oh also, blogger is WAY better than livejournal. It's tiny & cute and so easy. Everybody get it now. (: I will love you all forever.
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| EARLY SPRING! (lifeisgoodagain) |
[01 Feb 2009|04:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All I Want Is You - Barry Louis Polisar |
] |
Warning: This Is A Success Story. :D
Because I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, I've decided to start spring early for myself. My mind is set on spring and I'm actually happier than I was a few days ago. Instead of thinking negatively, I've started thinking about the snow melting, the flowers blooming, the grass greening, the sun shining & the birds chirping. :)
It has been sunny for the past few days and that definitely has helped me a lot. I wake up to the sun shining in my window, making me warm. I open my window around twelve and let the fresh air circulate in my room. By the time it's time for bed, my room is full of fresh air and it helps me sleep easier. Also, listening to the right music really does help. In December I got back into t.A.T.u. and just laying in my bed listening to their voices really calmed me, but that was when I wasn't even aware of SAD.
Since I've discovered the source of my depression, I've been able to treat it better with the Juno soundtrack. :) Nothing gets me in a better mood. Even though I'm not completely cleared of these awful feelings and depression, it has really helped a lot. I feel a lot better about life.
While it's spring in my mind, I can't wait for the real thing to come. All I want to do is be outside. But I love life again!
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| omg F winter. |
[29 Jan 2009|09:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Expectations - Belle & Sebastian |
] |
I hate hate hate hate hate hate winter. I used to love it. It was my second favorite season. Well, now that I'm older, winter has decided to bring along depression with itself...so I hope winter dies. Now. I need spring more than anything in the world. I need the sun, the weather, the flowers...the feeling.
die winter, DIE!
also, I have the flu. 4th day and no improvment. Please kill me.
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| Gomenasai, for everything. |
[08 Jan 2009|11:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Gomenasai - t.A.T.u. |
] |
I'm sorry to anybody that is feeling the way I am feeling right now. I know, it's not my fault and it's hard to place blame on feelings like this, but to anybody that is feeling like the world is crashing down, that you're near rock bottom, and only few things make you smile each day, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I know how much it hurts and how much you can feel helpless.
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| I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost... |
[06 Jan 2009|10:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sacrifice - t.A.T.u. |
] |
As many of you know, I don't open up very easily about my feelings but it's gotten to the point where if I were to hold anything in anymore, I just might explode. Usually I keep it all in until every thought gets mixed with the others and I cry for what appears to be no reason. I'm going through a difficult time right now. I'll just touch on two of the things really bothering me.
One thing everybody knows about me is that I couldn't care less about what people think of me. And that's true...except when it comes to my family. Not Emily nor Jenny because they would understand most of all since they are younger but I constantly think about what my mom thinks of me which branches out to my dad, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins..etc. I know they will love me no matter what but sometimes it's really hard to be myself around them, especially my mom. I worry what she thinks nearly every day. Even though she already told me she would love me no matter what, that doesn't mean she approves of everything I do...everything I can't help.
Secondly, I feel trapped here, in this house. I need to get out and do something with my life. Even though I'm still scared, I'm ready. I need to live out my dreams whatever they may be but I procrastinate too much. I'm ready for school, for work, for a life but I just can't move for some reason. This is something I understand even less than my other main problem and it depresses me endlessly.
Basically I don't know what to do involving those two issues...and I just needed to release it. I'm sorry I don't talk more.
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| I'm done with infectious things & people. |
[20 Dec 2008|04:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 grateful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
BLUEGRASS! ^.^ |
] |
I am so serious so nobody should take this as a joke. As far as I'm concerened, infectious people no longer exist. I will no longer waste my time with people who can harm me and be around things that can harm me. I'm done with all of the shit everybody got me into. I know that I am way better than all of it, so keep it away from me or just keep yourself away from me. As of right now, I'm that incredibly good girl you knew three years ago.
I'm very proud of me right now and I know I'm not the only one, so thank you Gabby, my best friend in the entire world and everybody else who bothered to give a shit about me. I love you all so much.
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[12 Dec 2008|04:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 frustrated |
] |
I need to get out and away from everything to write. Here there are so many people and so many distractions but I need a place where there is nothing but my thoughts and nobody but me. I wish I had a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere otherwise nowhere is where I'll be. Too bad a place like that doesn't exist in my world.
If anybody has any ideas, let me know. I'd go anywhere.
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| Helenaism is the best thing that has ever happened to me. |
[10 Dec 2008|01:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
Our Helena, who art in pie shop, Bovine be thy name. Thy adjoining house come Crucio will be done, on Potter As it is on Longbottom. Give us this day our daily pie, And forgive us our throat slittings, As we forgive those who throat slit upon us. Lead us not into the oven But deliver us from Molly Weasley, For thine is the adjoined house, the bovine and the plugholes Forever and ever, BOVINE!
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| *faints* |
[02 Dec 2008|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thirsty |
] |
I really want to be done with politics but I can't help but voice my opinion every chance I get.
It really sucks because I don't even know if I'm more conservative or liberal. People think I'm
just this great political mess. I always thought I was a democrat but this past election, I would
have prefered McCain/Palin as my P&VP. I'm not saying anything against Obama, he'll do fine,
I'm sure, but I just feel they could have done better.
I'm. A. Mess.
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| Rest In Peace Muriel Manson. |
[28 Nov 2008|01:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The World Is Not Enough - Garbage |
] |
I am deeply saddened by the passing of Shirley Manson's mother for this reason:
"I just wanted you to know because anyone who has ever been touched by me and my band and our music has in part been touched by my mum." - Shirley Manson.
Shirley Manson is my hero, my influence, my guide, my everything. Garbage is my favorite band and nothing gives me the same feeling I get when I listen to them. Hearing from Shirley that her mum passed away hurts not only her family but her fans as well. We all know how much she loved her and how much of an influence she was to her. And by that we have been touched by her.
Shirley is in my toughts at this time as well as her family. It's just good to know that she is still alive in the music.
<3
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| Writer's Block: Evolutionary Contributions |
[24 Nov 2008|04:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
Am I the only one who loves Sarah Palin? Haha.
Anyway, the stupidest act this year was committed by every person who read Twilight...and then read all the rest.
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| Thoughts. |
[19 Nov 2008|04:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
I need to make a new layout beacuse these colors are upsetting me for some reason. I am in the mood for something light. Like a pastel blue. Now. Should it feature Helena or Joanna Newsom? I don't know.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I love holidays when I can get together with my family. Maybe Aunt Lisa won't be a nazi this year. Haha. Oh, I just realized what I've done and yes, it is funny. I love stuffing and pumpkin pie!
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| Why the long face? |
[16 Nov 2008|09:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
I'm awful at drawing. I see these great ideas floating around in my head. I can actually picture a finished piece in my head but I can't draw. I'm absolutely awful at it so all these brilliant ideas die on paper.
I just wish I had talent.
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| I just voted. =/ |
[04 Nov 2008|03:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
I was having a great day until I entered the voting booth. It sounds so lame, but it's a big deal for me. I think I might have voted for the wrong person. I kept thinking of what people would say if I voted for who I really wanted. I love qualities in both parties...so when I went to vote just now, I was so lost. I didnt' know who I really wanted...so I made a decision based off of views of not only myself, but my parents, my friends and my family.
And if I could do it all over again, I might just swing my vote the other way.
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| Please Refrain From Feeding The Chavs. |
[15 Oct 2008|01:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Walked into Wal*Mart and saw this faggoty kid
wearing fake Burberry shit (the cap/hat really stuck out)
and I couldn't stop laughing.
Chav, innit?
Does he know what country he's in?
Wait. I just thought of something terrifying.
They're taking over the WORLD!
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